So here is a painful truth:
And no, I don't believe I mean it like dissociative identity disorder, I mean it in a different way. In middle school I became addicted to the internet and joined Myspace and a few forums about dreams and zelda games and also a game called Zwinky. On all of these sites I was a different person. I pretended to be people that I certainly am not. Especially on Zwinky! I remember I had 4 different accounts and 2 of them had the exact same friends! One was completely hated while the other was more liked. I had gotten very good at making up people. I have been struggling with staying on the internet and NOT doing this. I have been honest with myself and my story instead of trying to hide under millions of masks. But something that all of the people I made up had in common was that they were abused. Every single one. Never failed. I guess it reoccurred in my subconscious a lot. I don't know.
I lost my train of thought.
I hope your brother can gain a better understanding of you as he reads. keep being honest with yourself and others, it is in that that you will be healed.
ReplyDeleteI think you are doing a great job!
We are here reading, relating, listening and understanding. You are being brave, it's hard but by writing and making art about your truth. You are truly helping yourself and helping others. That's such a huge thing in this world we are all proud of you and are here on the internet for you. I have an older brother that reads my blog too. My brother is in denial about the pain he caused me. It is scary for me too. You are not alone. And like Eve wrote I hope too your brother can gain a better understanding of you. Yes keep going I love your art!
ReplyDeleteBelieve me Computerized Angel, your brother reads your blog because he cares and loves you. You should never feel ashamed or embarrassed by him reading your blog. By reading, he gains an understanding of you that would have otherwise been impossible to get. Stay strong!
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