"I don't just smile to cover up the pain. I smile because thats the only way I can cope with the pain. I laugh when I cry. I smile when I am in the most pain of my life. I comfort others when I am still in said pain. Instead of grimacing I grin like a fool. Its just who I am, and I love it. I could not survive without it."
I know I already posted this on my facebook page, but I am also putting it here because of how important it is. MY WHOLE LIFE ANY TIME I CRIED THE PEOPLE AROUND ME WOULD ASK IF I WAS LAUGHING. Seriously. My family says I was always a bright happy ADHD girl, except when I was having a temper tantrum...which I had a lot. But I don't remember being happy for more than a few seconds at a time, I do remember almost always smiling even through the pain, except when I was having a temper tantrum. I used to have a horrible anger that I couldn't control. It had gotten worse in sixth grade and resolved in eighth grade. I guess I understand why I haad so much anger and self hatred bottled inside of me for so long.
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